


Flicker in the Dark

by Azarath22



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Comfort/Angst, Father-Son Relationship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:02:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3391031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azarath22/pseuds/Azarath22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Twilight. What did Tony do in the time after Kate's death but before her funeral? One-shot<br/>Spoilers: Twilight</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flicker in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on AO3 so please let me know what you think.

I sit at my desk in silence. The rest of the team had long since gone home but I stayed with the excuse that I needed to finish up some paper work. Given the circumstances, nobody argued with me. The memory kept replaying itself in my mind and I can still feel the warmth of her blood spattered across my face. I begin to turn my head towards her desk in a sad hope that this was all just a horrible nightmare. But this is reality and not some Lifetime Movie Special, so when I finally turn my head all the way around, I am greeted to an empty chair.

A single candle flickers on her desk and it's the only light that can be seen on the floor. Abby had lit it before she left, saying it was something they did back home to lament the dead. I guess I was being melodramatic but I hadn't had the heart to blow it out even though it had been hours since she'd gone home. I decide to go down to autopsy to take one last look at her before the funeral. I know it sounds strange but I want to see the hole the bullet left in her body, and somehow I know that, that will be the memory that will stay with me forever.

The door to autopsy creaks open as I walk through it. I don't bother to turn on a light because I know where I'm going. Third from the left, two down, I had memorized it as soon as Ducky shut the door, knowing that I would be making at least one trip down here. I open the door, pull out the gurney, and remove the blanket from her face. I just stare down at her, almost as if I was expecting the bullet hole to magically have mended itself. I let my mind wonder and I start to think about Kate and the life she had here at NCIS and how it was all taken from her so fast.

Without realizing it, I start to speak aloud, "You didn't deserve this, it should have been me," and I almost don’t recognize my own voice because of how desperate and raw it sounds.

"Don't you ever say that!" Commands a voice in the corner and in a heartbeat I have my gun out and pointed into the shadow. The person begins to walk towards me, ignoring the weapon that I have pointed in their direction.

"Is that really how you feel, Tony?" They ask, as they make their way towards me.

 I lower my gun hesitantly when I realize who the voice belongs to, Gibbs. I should have known he wouldn't have gone home so soon.

"It's just she had her whole life in front of her, she deserved more than this."

"And you think you don't?"

I open my mouth but shut it again because I really don't have an answer.

"Come her Tony." He beckons, holding his arm out.

I walk over to Gibbs and he wraps his arms around me. After a second, I return the hug. As the seconds go by, he doesn’t let go like I’m expected. He just continues to hold me, as if he’s trying to fend off the onslaught of emotions that have managed to make their way through my carefully constructed facade.  As I lay my head on his shoulder I allow myself to do something that I haven’t done since my own mother funeral, I cried.


End file.
